DISCONNECT

We taught our children everything, from the evils of trigonometry to the shocking habits of ancient Rome, and yet we forgot to teach them the only thing that mattered: how to be happy. 

BIN

She shaved most of her hair off. 

She's been wanting to do this for years, she says. 

It's another form of self-mutilation, I say.

I was there once. 

On the other hand, she seems stronger. 

PS - so sad to see the most gorgeous hair in the world

sharing room with used tea-bags and potato peels.

GAPS

The bath is nearly full to the brim. I stop the tub and walk out. Her door is ajar and through the little gap I see her face, she's hiding her body behind.
"Babe, the bath is full" 
She doesn't answer and waves her hand instead as if telling me to go. 
"What??" I exclaim I am Spanish after all. She does it again. 
What is wrong with her???  it's not like I haven't seen her naked before! 
And just as I am about to walk I freeze.
"Are you cutting again?????????!!!!!!"

One step forward 10 steps back.
I am going to bed.

HEAR NO EVIL

"Mum please! do you know the balls it took for me to tell you???"
I storm out of the bathroom without looking back.
I sit on the sofa, wondering what the fuck I was thinking when I thought myself mature enough to bring a creature into this world. I  go back to the bathroom, hold her in my arms and whisper in her ear:
"I do, know… do you know the balls it takes to know and not do anything?"

To act and lose their trust so I can never help them or to keep quiet and risk seeing them sinking?
right answer: DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

50 per cent increase in teen depression in the past 6 years. 50 per cent... buy yourself a dog. Nobody wants to come to this world anymore and the last thing you want is to see your kid braking.

LITTLE MIRACLE

18 years ago today, as the world fought to understand the significance of one of the worst fuck-ups in human history, I struggled to bring you to this Earth. Hours I spent monopolizing that hospital bath, thinking I was about to die. But hey! ... I would do it all over again little pea, a million times. I only wish you knew you are one of those remarkable miracles you don't believe in. 

And if everything fails, now we can get pissed together and watch an 18R flick! 

put the music back on babe

LOVE

"I love it"
I nearly fell from my chair when I read her message. I hadn't heard her say "love" for about four years.   I didn't count my blessing though, I know how it works. There are no victories in depression, only little windows of light, but this one was bright enough to make everything better for a moment.
She's nose-dived all the way to the bottom since, this happened a month ago. 
But for now we are still breathing. More than I thought possible when I wrote the first entry.